Is My “New Mom Anxiety” Normal?
It is normal for new moms to feel anxious from time to time. Having a baby is a completely new stage of life and brings changes to your body, your relationships, and your routine among other things. And when you add lack of sleep into the mix, things really get interesting. So of course you’re going to experience random crying spells, feelings of inadequacy, irritability, and low energy here and there. Having a new baby brings with it ups and downs, especially during the first year of life as you adjust to all of the above changes. But while some “new mom anxiety” is totally normal, some “new mom anxiety” is indicative of a larger issue, which may need to be addressed. So how do you know if your “new mom anxiety” is as expected or is a bigger problem?
First, adjustment to a new baby is completely normal. As previously indicated, a new baby brings with it changes to routine, relationships, health, etc. It takes a while to really settle in and adjust your life around your new family member. Additionally, it can take time to “learn” your baby and fully understand their needs. However, if you are finding that you aren’t “learning” your baby, feel overwhelmed caring for your baby, or aren’t able to find a balance between your baby’s needs and your own needs after the first 6 months of your baby’s life, this could be indicative of a larger issue.
Second, it is completely normal to worry about your baby’s safety and about whether or not you are up to the task of caring for them. Most new moms worry about feeding their baby the right food, have anxiety around baby sleeping habits, and wonder if their baby is developing correctly. All of these concerns are normal and should subside over time as you become more and more proficient at caring for your baby. If you find over time that you are adjusting well to your baby, but continue to have safety concerns that are repetitive, overwhelming, affect your ability to leave your baby in the care of others, seem irrational, or impact your ability to focus on work, self care, or other relationships, this could be a sign of postpartum anxiety symptoms beyond the scope of typical “new mom anxiety.”
Last, having a baby can make you feel somewhat detached from yourself. Lack of sleep brings in low energy or mood swings. Body changes can make you feel more clumsy or less sexual than usual. Your relationship with your partner can feel different and new because of hormones raging through your body. Friendships might feel strange, especially with friends who do not yet have children. You might feel unmotivated at work because you’d rather be at home with your baby. All of these changes are normal and tend to alleviate as you continue to adjust to your new family member. This feeling of detachment, however, can be problematic if you continue to feel completely different from your normal self as your baby ages. If you notice that mood swings, low motivation, social issues, and fatigue stick around more days than not once your baby is sleeping through the night consistently, it may be time to seek help.
Having some “new mom anxiety” is totally normal. It can be both a rewarding and difficult time during your baby’s first year of life, and rapid changes can lead to changes in your mood and functioning. However, if these mood and functioning change remain consistent over time, occur more days than not, and/or prevent you from bonding with your baby, you could be experiencing clinical postpartum anxiety or depression. Clinical postpartum anxiety and depression are very treatable, but can be hard to manage alone. If you think your “new mom anxiety” may be beyond what is typical, seeking help is the best care you can provide for yourself and your growing family.
